Worst. Mascot. Ever.

Partick Thistle mascot
If the old adage of “there’s no such thing as BAD publicity” holds true, Scottish SPFL club Partick Thistle will be patting themselves on the back this morning after the launch of their new mascot “Kingsley”. All around the world news outlets were not only reporting on it, but also falling over themselves to find synonyms for utterly terrifying. Probably not the reception they were hoping for, but it certainly put Partick Thistle in the limelight for a day or two.
At home in Britain The Independent newspaper described it as “utterly terrifying . . . half sun, half Lisa Simpson” and the Telegraph went with “with many questioning what sort of a person could allow such a beast to roam the corridors of Firhill when it appears to yearn for sweet, sweet death almost as much as it wants to enslave man-kind.”
In the USA CNN led with “Some kids grow up being scared of clowns, others dread the bogeyman under the bed. Now children in Scotland have a new monster to haunt their dreams”
On the other side of the planet in New Zealand they reported that it had left fans “bemused and a little bit scared” and the Sunday Times in Perth Australia used a quote describing it as “the demented sun god of Scotland”
In the Netherlands it rSSR asked “Holy mother of God, is this mascot terrifying or what?” and Nigeria News said simply that “there are no words to describe the mascot”
Naturally enough twitter and social media were on it like a pack of hungry dogs too, with Kingsley incorporated into everything from post-apocalyptic landscapes and Jurassic World to The Teletubbies.
We’ve never had a mascot at Footy Sevens, but if this is anything to go by, maybe it’s time to get in on the act. We are delighted to announce that the first ever Footy Sevens mascot will be “Footy” the cuddly White Walker reanimation of Jack Nicholson in The Shining wearing Freddy Kruger’s hat. He (or it) will be immediately available for charity events, corporate evenings and children’s parties. See the Footy Sevens Website for mascot rental (as well as our more traditional offerings such as team and individual registration for our upcoming summer leagues)

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