There was a young ref who thought
That he could be easily bought
In exchange for a bill,
He’d blow his whist-ill,
And immediately point to the spot.
If you haven’t played in the Kicking Cancer’s Butt tournament before, you probably won’t quite know what to make of those few lines (other than that they are a truly awful piece of “poetry”). What better way to explain a rule than with a Limerick? Hmm, perhaps we should write all of our rules in limerick form. . .
If you play the ball with your hand,
You’ll get a yellow card or be banned,
And if you repeat the infraction,
The ref will take action
And you’ll watch the rest of the game from the stands
Ah, well. . . perhaps not. Anyway, during the Kicking Cancer’s Butt tournament, bribing the ref is not only allowed, it is actively encouraged!
Each bench will have a “Bribe the Ref” card next to it, and all teams can hold up the card at any time during the game, hand the ref a $5 or $10 donation to the ORCF and the ref will immediately stop play and award them a penalty. He can’t guarantee you’ll score it (you’d have to bribe the goalie for that) but he will definitely award it.

• Teams are limited to a maximum of one penalty per game, and can bribe the ref during any game before the quarter finals.
• Any bribes played during the first half of the game will cost a minimum $5 donatiion and any in the second half of the game cost you a minimum of $10.
• There are no bribes allowed in the last 5 minutes of a game.

In the past 2 years you corrupt, wonderful people have raised over $1000 in bribes for the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. We’ve seen teams buy penalties to win or tie games, teams buying back a penalty immediately after their opponents have scored, buying them to give players who don’t usually score a chance at a goal, and even some sporting teams buying them for the opposition to give them a chance to score. And of course some people just bought them for the sheer bloody pleasure of being allowed to cheat!
For full details e-mail chris@ottawafootysevens.com